Starting form tomorrow morning I will be talking to Germany on the phone.
The Italian line was a challenge of course, but the German one is bigger because there is trauma at the root. I escaped from my dysfunctional student reality by engaging with this sharp, precise and demanding language.
I accepted the challenge when they came to me asking to join the German team. There are doubts of course and I have been conversing with them for the past 3 days. Their voice is not as loud as it used to be. I have been a perfectionist all my life but I have learned to give myself a break when things go wrong, take the time to process the pain and start again, maybe.
The decision is taken. The frightened me will come along and sit together with the fearless me, at the same desk, one voice. Mistakes will happen, I know, but this is fine. Will have to beg for help from unavailable, busy colleagues, but it is fine, this will rock the boat for all of us and we will stay awake!
This is my project for the next 5 months in the Czech Republic. When the time is up I will be returning to Italy. Will retry to find a job there. I will allow 3 to 4 months to that project. If nothing happens- Hit the road Jack!