Death has never scared me.
Ever since I was small death excited me, it made me curious. I wanted to know what is there that I don’t see but somehow know that it exists?
There was a time when I spoke about dying openly with my parents, saying that I want to die. Why did they bring me here anywhere?
They said that life is a gift and wanting to die is a sin.
At that time, I did not understand how can a life so difficult be a gift. How can my mother’s deep pain be a gift? How can my father losing all his teeth and sleeping on the streets of Russia be a gift? How can all those people around the world suffering can be a gift? How can my loneliness, my awkwardness, my silenced voice, my slifled dreams can be a gift?
How? When all I could feel was pain, all I could see was gloomy, all I could imagine was ….death.
Well, that was the beginning of my adventure on Earth.
I had to learn to look around and see what is already inside me. Ask myself what am I to do, why did I come here. I am learning to stay, even now.
I used to find peace at the cemetery. I went there to read whenever I could. Cemeteries are not as scary as Hollywood wants us to believe. It is simply a place where human remains are stores, charged with their energy. Whenever someone visits a spirit (ex human being) the memories, the lives, the scent, the mistakes, the victories of the spirit come alive in the living human heart. This is how life goes on.
I went to the largest cemetery in Florence recently, Trespiano.
This is a communal cemetery where the remains of all sorts of people are buried or kept in small boxes. The impression it made on me was quite impressive. It was such a peaceful, reassuring and …joyous visit.
First of all, the way a catholic cemetery looks is quite different from those know to me, the orthodox ones. There are no verticals in an orthodox cemetery. The are spaces reserved for a certain family but always horizontally. Whereas, in this Italian cemetery, I saw huge square buildings containing thousands of small boxes. The bones of the dead are resting in there.
Another interesting thing I observed where the photos of the dead. The Italian joie de vive was bursting through those eyes.
People looking away, at the seaside, people lathing wholeheartedly, people eating, people walking against the wind, people kissing each other.
Here are the facts that came into my mind while walking among spirits. Did they whisper in my ears?
- Death is the beginning of life
The thought that scares us the most about death is the separation from the loved ones, the pleasures of life, the assurance of knowing that you are a body sitting in a home, on Street X. But…that is not all.
2.Living requires courage. Dying too.
What you do(spiritually) during your time on Earth is the only thing that counts afterwards.
The times you stepped over your human value, the times you chose to stay small, quiet and safe, the times you stop yourself from speaking for the truth, the times you accepted violence upon yourself or others, the times you sought and encouraged the weakness in others, the times you refused to follow your intuition or the times you could have helped but did not, you could have been kind, but did not. That are some of the things to think about now while you are still alive.
3.Peace lies within.
Because the soul is there.
This world was not created for us to suffer but for us to bring our innate light here, to transform the insanity into love. So this is how my earlier questions are being answered. Yes, this life is really a gift because it is difficult, painful, mental at times, but we are ready for it. Don’t let the insanity tell you otherwise. We all have all the resources inside us to live the lives we want because that is our birthright as children of Light.
Until next time, I leave you in peace and joy.